How Do People in Tiny Homes Have Sex, Anyway?
How Do People in Tiny Homes Have Sex, Anyway?
Henrik Sorensen
People who live in tiny homes do not have tiny egos: They crow about how their 250-square-foot abodes are a huge boon to the environment (“check out our infinitesimal electric bill!”), their pocketbooks (“we paid only $20,000 for our home and live mortgage-free!”), and their life in general (“we live simple, humble, happy lives!“). Good for you, tiny-house dwellers.
But here’s one boast you’ll find conspicuously absent from all their gloating: They don’t brag about their sex lives.
How could they? Tiny homes, after all, don’t offer much in terms of privacy. And those cramped loft spaces where they sleep? There’s barely enough room up there to wedge in one layer of bodies, much less two. Such limitations lead many (us included) to assume that tiny-home dwellers don’t get much bedroom (which is pretty darn close to the living room) action at all.
But au contraire! Leave it to the sexually liberated single gal’s bible, Cosmopolitan, to debunk this assumption by interviewing a bunch of tiny-house dwellers who swear their sex lives are as hopping as any McMansion dweller’s. But how can this be? Here’s how tiny-house dwellers get busy between the sheets (and elsewhere):
They install ‘sex handles’ throughout the house
That’s right—many tiny homes have handles discreetly affixed to loft ceilings or other walls. And make no mistake, their purpose is to give couples the option to grab, hoist, and otherwise situate themselves just so for some very grown-up playtime.
As Cosmo notes, handles are the kind of sex props “you probably wouldn’t find in most neighborhood suburbs.” So true. The only time I’ve seen handles were in my mother’s bathroom, in case she slips in the shower. (At least, I assume that’s what those handles are for.)
They point out that low ceilings have upsides
While low loft ceilings might seem to put a damper on sex, the tiny-house couples interviewed by Cosmo beg to differ. They say that low ceilings “offer excellent support to brace against for anyone riding cowgirl.” Presuming there’s enough space up there to ride anything, of course.
Stairs and ladders = sex props
But why bother climbing up to that coffin-size loft space when you can stop midway and get busy? Ladders offer their own unique opportunities to adjust the heights of both parties with interesting results.
Bottom line? It seems that tiny homes force you to get creative when you strip down, and we all know that creativity is essential for satisfying sex. In fact, perhaps those of us living in McMansions have a thing or two to learn from those randy tiny-home fans, like, drag your butt out of your king-size bed and head to a loft, the stairs, or a closet … and don’t forget to install some handles where they’ll count.
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