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North Pole’s Melting? The 10 Best U.S. Cities for Santa Claus to Resettle In

Santa Claus’ compound at the North Pole, with its ultra-efficient gift-making workshop, generous vacation policy, and world-leading on-site elf substance-abuse recovery program, has been one of the original work/life-balance epicenters. But with Arctic ice melting, the snowy retreat may no longer be ideal for the Christmas gang to make merry. Where else could an unnaturally ebullient couple of a certain age, along with their pint-size army, and a dozen head of magical livestock, settle down?

The realtor.com® data team jumped at the chance to save Christmas by finding some perfect places in the United States for Santa and his entourage to resettle. (Can you blame us if we want our gifts to be delivered first? We’re not exactly down with that whole Amazon drone-delivery thing.)

So what would make the Big Guy and his quirky crew feel most at home? We figure he’s at his jolliest when surrounded by Christmas festivities—along with endless supplies of cookies and milk. Plus, we’re sure he wants to be in touch with his other helpers, those seasonal faux Kris Kringles who purportedly assist in spreading holiday cheer.

“Christmas celebrations need a Santa,” says one of these stand-ins, Michael Rielly of Bristol, RI. “Big cities obviously have more demand. Not just malls; Santa appears at events, corporate gigs, and conventions, too.”  He even showed up once at the realtor.com office Christmas party!

But get ready for a big lump of emotional coal: When the economy tanked in 2008, many of those traditional Santa employers cut back, and quite a few part-timers were forced to hang up their red velvet hats. Now that conditions are improving, so are Santa gigs: A hard-working Santa can earn $5,000 to $8,000 over the 40-day holiday season, or $10,000 to $12,000 in big cities, according to Tim Connaghan, a 68-year-old Santa from Kings Park, NY.

So where should Santa & co. head to?  We ranked America’s 500 largest cities based on 10 criteria:

• Part-time Santa jobs on Craigslist
• Number of Christmas festivals and galas per capita
• Number of bakeries per capita, where Santa can indulge his damn cookie obsession
• Average milk price
• Percentage of population under age 8
• Number of toy stores per capita
• Christmas light display enthusiasm, measured by the per capita number of Twitter photos with tag #christmaslights and the per capita number of Christmas lighting locations on Yelp.com
• Median home price (hey, the Clauses need a home, too!)
• Suitable reindeer habitat (extra points for states with a caribou population)
• Does the city have an annual SantaCon bar crawl?!

Here you go, Santa! Please keep us in the loop on your future plans.

1. Salt Lake City, UT

Median home price: $315,000

Santa Claus jobs in Salt Lake City are not limited to providing a lap for squirmy kids to sit on. If Santa is athletic enough—wriggling up and down all those chimneys is a fine core workout, after all—he can be a “Santa on the slope” at the Snowbird Ski Resort, passing out treats and holiday spirit to skiers and snowboarders. The annual Utah Santa Run is another chance for him to mingle and blend into the crowd, because every runner in the festive 5K race is dressed up in a red fur-lined suit. Christmas music is played along the route. And yes, aid stations along the way offer milk and cookies instead of Gatorade and energy bars.

If Claus wants some quiet time, he can take a stroll around the city and immerse himself in the Christmas atmospherics. Temple Square is lit up with over a million lights, and Heritage Park is transformed into a wonderland, with holiday decor and even live reindeer—so the notoriously isolated Dasher and Dancer can try to make new friends.

2. Cincinnati, OH

Median home price: $140,000

While Santa Claus climbs down millions of chimneys around the world, in Cincy, he climbs down something way more impressive: a 30-story office building! During the annual Macy’s Downtown Dazzle, Santa and Rudolph rappel down the 525 Vine Building office tower (near Macy’s, duh). When they land, fireworks are set off to celebrate the start of the holidays—and also to commemorate one more year that neither icon went splat onto the sidewalk below.

If Santa’s not in the air, he is skating on the Fountain Square ice rink, making gifts at Santa’s workshop, or visiting children with special needs at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. St. Nick has a substantial fan base here—the city has a higher share (12.2%) of kids under 8 than the national average.

If Santa is not familiar with buying property—come to think of it, he may have actually been squatting in the North Pole, but we’re cool with that—he’ll find a wide selection of affordable homes in this market.

3. Bethlehem, PA

Median home price: $180,000

It wasn’t quite in Biblical times, but in 1741, the city of Bethlehem, PA, was christened after the birthplace of Jesus Christ. In 1937, the city decided to capitalize on its Christmas connection, and set out to become the self-proclaimed  “Christmas City” for the entire country. So the Chamber of Commerce started a nationwide campaign, asking people to send their holiday cards to Bethlehem, where they’d get a “Christmas City” cancellation stamp before being directed to their final destination. More than 185,000 pieces of mail inundated the Bethlehem Post Office. Today, the post office stamps and resends cards from all over the world.

For 22 years, Christkindlmarkt, a five-week-long Christmas festival, has been a key element of local holiday celebrations. With handmade ornaments, nutcrackers, and a variety of German delicacies, Mrs. Claus will be happy to check off a few items on her holiday shopping list. Santa loves German delicacies.

4. Spokane, WA

Median home price: $188,000

Fun fact: Northeastern Washington and Idaho are home to the last wild reindeer in the lower 48 states. If Santa decides on Spokane, his rambunctious beasts can live the high life. Last year, just days before Christmas, a group of reindeer were caught on camera rampaging through downtown Spokane. Maybe Rudolph can lead the way next time? Dude loves to rampage.

Santa will also be very touched to see how the holiday spirit is spreading in Spokane. For 14 Christmas seasons, the nonprofit Spokane Fantasy Flight has been flying underprivileged children to the other North Pole—at least the town in Alaska that goes by that name—for an evening of wonder and surprises.

5. Las Vegas, NV

Median home price: $250,000

Santa in Sin City?! Bear with us here—it’s all about the job opportunities. There’s always a need for the Red One during the holidays at the hotels (and, yeah, casinos) that routinely traffic in over-the-top entertainment, as well as the 36 malls catering to gamblers flush with cash. Away from the bright lights of the Strip, the family-friendly Vegas ‘burbs are filled with kiddies wanting to pull Santa’s beard—kids under 8 make up 12.2% of Las Vegas’ population.

Granted, evergreen trees don’t exactly flourish in the Nevada desert, but Las Vegas does have Christmas cactus—decked out in elaborate holiday lights at the Ethel M Chocolates Botanical Cactus Garden. Take a stroll and visit the chocolate factory, too!

6. Providence, RI

Median home price: $180,000

To get a sense of Rhode Island’s dedication to Christmas, just look at the preponderance of dazzling bedecked front yards. The Conway family residence, as just one example, has gained national exposure for its 400 blow molds (those hollow plastic figures, often with lights inside), a 550-foot walkable path, and a handmade train car modeled on the Polar Express. We can go on and on. But you get the drift.

Speaking of drift, the smell of freshly baked chocolate-chip cookies—Santa’s stimulant of choice—wafts through the city, thanks to its 50 active bakeries (according to Yelp). Kids can even join Kris Kringle for a boat ride down Providence River or a ride on a life-size Polar Express train at the historic Woonsocket Depot.

7. Atlanta, GA

Median home price: $305,000

No snow in Atlanta? St. Nick don’t need no stinkin’ snow! Each holiday season, Santa is seen in scuba gear, swimming among sharks at the Georgia Aquarium, walking around with selfie sticks in Ponce City Market, cheering for the Atlanta Falcons, and even taking photos with four-legged friends at Waggy World Dog Park..

In fact, Susen Mesco, founder and director of the Professional Santa Claus School in Denver, says the Atlanta region sends the largest contingent of students. Maybe it has something to do with the weird and wonderful Santa Speedo Run, in which runners strip down to skivvies and red hats to raise money for charity. It’s unlikely the real Santa would disrobe (he has weight issues), but he’d certainly be down with a worthy cause.

8. Syracuse, NY

Median home price: $100,000

Syracuse is a safe bet in case the Man gets homesick. With 115.6 inches of snow each year, the city in upstate New York has a high chance of having a white Christmas. Each year, the Clinton Square tree-lighting kicks off the holiday season. Mr. and Mrs. Claus are invited to a Polar Express pajama party, where they can make (and eat) ice cream with kids. Santa also makes an appearance in Syracuse’s Rosamond Gifford Zoo, with lions and penguins.

The low cost of living might appeal to Santa: The median home price isn’t even half the national level. And milk, the Bearded One’s fave bevvy, sells for $0.70 per liter, 21% cheaper than the national average. He’d chug the stuff by the gallon.

9. Billings, MT

Median home price: $263,000

If you are in Billings on Christmas Eve, look up in the sky, and you will see Santa flying with his reindeer crew. Seriously! Every year for the past 35 years, Billings kids have been watching a large light-up Santa Claus display carried out to the sky by a helicopter. Of course, like any chief executive worth his salt, the real Santa has no time for self-aggrandizing “Thank You tours” or theatrics. But he appreciates the sentiment!

Back at the North Pole, Santa has been receiving thousands of letters from kids from all over the world. But the Billings Parks and Recreation Department got him a direct telephone line, so that he can talk to them as well. “Ho-ho-ho! This is Santa calling!”

10. Miami, FL

Median home price: $286,500

Think it’s downright ridiculous for Santa to move to Miami? Not really!

“An average Kringle is 65 years old, about the age to retire,” says Connaghan, the Baby Boomer Santa. “If he’s too tired at the snow in the North Pole, it’s good if he can live down the South.”

Santa loves spending time on the sand. Just go to the “Santa on the beach” in Fort Lauderdale and see for yourself! He doesn’t tan well, but this is what SPF 50 is all about.

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